February-June 2001

NEW! WE HAVE FOUND THE NEWSPAPERS PUBLISHED BY JONATHAN WEATHERHEAD, MADE IN FEBRUARY AND MARCH 2001!
Sparks Fly Between Candidates

It's only been days and already the candidates have fought against each other.
When Kiril Litvinov heard that he was losing in polls, he said

"I'm in this to beat Earl., not to become what the hell I'm running for."

Kiril wrote a list of who was going to vote for him, trying to scare Earl but Earl,
not being intimidated, got his helper William to steal Kiril's list and the sparks are
flying. This looks like it's going to be an exiting race.

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DLPA Members Announced

In the case of victory, DLPA leader Earl Washburn announces his administration.

Prime Minister: Earl Washburn
Deputy Prime Minister: William
Finance minister: Dan
Government Resources: Derek
Human Development: Liam
Labour Minister: Tim
Minister of Defense: Mark

Kiril quotes "I'm not done yet. The vote isn't over 'till it's over". Earl isn't
intimidated. he says Kiril is just bluffing; he doesn't have a trump card. Only
time will reveal the results.

DLPA sues the DPA (Democratic Party of Amerada) for
Copyright Violation

The Democratic Liberal Party of Amerada sues the Democratic Party of Amerada
for stealing the word "Democratic" from their party name. Since there are no defines laws
in Amerada yet, President John Weatherspoon closed the books on the deal and both
parties kept their name. The battle for power rages on.

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What's next for Amerada???

With a population of over 400 people, it's time to expand.
It's all up to president John though. It's sire that DPA leader Kiril Litvinov
is anxious for his planned city New Onto to start up. New Onto will be built
across the Onto River from Washiawa. The North Eastern area of Amerada
will be called Califario, also run by democratic Leader Kiril Litvinov.

What's Next Then???

After New Onto gets a healthy population, there may be treks out west.
The president has already sent out a team of surveyors and they have found
many great areas for new cities.

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DLPA Accused of Rigging Election

"Fine of 500 Amerada bucks will be given if caught"
says president John.

"Who cares" says Earl Washburn." If you took away all "other" votes, we'd still be
winning." The DLPA has been hovering around the 80% mark for days. Rumors
have been flying around and President John has put a strict fine down.
"No one knows who has voted for who; we can assume that I voted more than once.
My party believes that Kiril has voted multiple times," Washburn says.
President John says that since there are no laws, cheating is legal.

Rebels Attack the Post-Citizen

On the way to the press, some papers were stolen and destroyed. Investigations have
been made and we suspect a local group of anti-government rioters.

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President Rigs Election?

No, it's not the DLPA. This time, it's President John and it's in favor of Kiril.

It's more than obvious now, since John stated publicly "I want to make things "interesting."
He has even put up a program that prevents multiple votes. Kiril seems to have received a lot
of votes lately. Sympathy votes? "What people don't notice is what is going to happen if Kiril
wins the election," says Earl. "There will be total chaos. There is no point in wasting your votes
on Kiril; he's not going to win." All that doesn't stop the President., he wants to see and exiting
election. Meanwhile at the DLPA headquarters, Earl says that his campaign will expand and
cancel out the latest votes for Kiril. Here's the facts. Kiril has done nothing for Amerada.
Without Earl, Amerada would be finished.

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Litvinov Physically Attacks
Washburn

While at a conference in Washiawa, Mr. Litvinov got angry when Mr. Washburn said
something about the election and started pummeling the DLPA leader. Mr. Washburn's
secret defense tactics managed to counter the attack. This is the second collision between
the 2 politicians. Is the pressure getting to Kiril? Our psychology expert has told us that
Kiril is mad because he is losing and can't control his anger.

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New Onto Begins Development

now that Amerada has passed 500 people, New Onto will start filling in. New Onto is
planned to be the largest city in Amerada. Located on the eastern banks of the Onto River,
it will be an ideal place to live.

Washiawa Stops Growing

While New Onto gets all the people, Washiawa will finally stop putting houses up and start
developing businesses. "This is a break that we'll all efficiently use" says Mayor Washburn.
99% of the people coming to Amerada will move to New Onto while 1% will go to Washiawa.
Mayor Washburn makes promises to the disgruntled people complaining about the lack of
industry. When Amerada hits 9100 people, Los Antréal will be born.

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WBS Planned to Start

The very first TV schedule has been announced and the executives have come with great
ideas.

Who Wants to Win a Million?

Outwit, Outlast
An American Survivor

They also morning soap-operas, talkshows, news, sitcoms, dramas, late-nigh TV, etc...

New Team for APHL

The new Onto Range Leafs have announced that they will enter the APHL for the 2001-2002
inaugural season. They will join the Washiawa Capitors and two other teams , soon to be
announced.

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Where's all the Women?

According to the census posted on the website, men outnumber women BIG time. This,
raises the question "Why won't women come to Amerada?" The current theory
'Not enough women know about Amerada." The only thing we can do is advertise on
websites visited mainly by women. But sadly, advertisement cost money so if you read this
article, tell all the women you know about Amerada. Thanx.

Coming soon: An updated census. Here are some questions that you will see soon.

-Your age
-Language you speak
-Your religion
-Ethnic background

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Derek's Column

When we are elected, I , as the minister of Government Resources, shall move money into
our schools and health care. Our children's education is the key to Amerada'a future.
Our health care is desperate need of funds for hospital beds, medication and equipment. under
the rule of the DLPA, the wait in the E.R. will be drastically shortened.

We will build more school's and hire more teachers so remember; When you vote, vote for
the best of Amerada. Vote for Earl Washburn.

If you have any submissions, please write to:

The Washaiwa post-Citizen
1588 Dorion Avenue
Ottawa, Ontario
K1G 0J6

--Derek Mc Cullough